The Importance of Suits

This will be a recurring subject, but I wanted to quickly illuminate how important suits can be in your normal life. Take this sequence of young men:

Now observe the effect of suits:

It's times like these when I believe the Bible when it says, "So God created man in his own image". I'm sure you agree.

But if you agree with me and don't put on a suit tomorrow night when you're out with your friends, then the terrorists have won, my friend. The terrorists have won.

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Teaching You How to Live

Hey guys! I just wanted to kind of set up some ground rules for this blog, and let you know what to expect.

If there's one thing I've learned through my life experiences, it's that I've never been wrong. Sure, I've learned certain information (Wikipedia is just grand, isn't it?) but really, everything I've said or thought has been pretty much spot on. Eventually I realized that I was doing the world a disservice by limiting my brilliance to my friends and family.

I will tell you what to wear, how to act, who to know, what to say, who sucks, who doesn't, and why you should wear suits as much as is humanly possible.

I can't promise I can fix you, but I can definitely promise that the act of trying to fix you will make me feel fantastic, and I'm not sure there is any nobler aim.

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Late Again...

I miss every fad.

I was probably the last person I know to get an iPod, my first gaming console was a PS2, and I started buying Pogs about three weeks before everyone else quit and began stockpiling something called "Magic cards". I'm like the lame grandfather of my generation; every time I hear about something new I get all crotchety and make sure that I tell everyone how stupid it sounds and how it will definitely fail. Once said fad becomes popular, I jump on the bandwagon like an out-of-state Northwestern student on the 2006 Bears.

And I've done it again. I am finally adding my digital voice to the masses via a blog that no one will read, years after the in-crowd. But as my friend, the wise Josh Sherman, says, "Blogs are everything, man". So call it an experiment, a brilliant beginning, or a mindless ego-trip, but welcome to my blog. More details and mind-expanding rhetoric to follow.

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